HUG Corner - Thought for the Week - 4/17
From "Healing After Loss" Martha Whitmore Hickman
"It has been well said that no man ever sank under the burden of the day. It is when tomorrow’s burden is added to the burden of today that the weight is more than a man can bear. Never load yourselves so, my friends."
How can we not look ahead to all those days, months and years when we will be without the one we loved?
There are times, surely, when we can’t help ourselves. But we don’t have to do it all the time. Perhaps we can adopt the pattern recommended in the “rational-emotive” approach.
Allow ourselves a certain half hour of the day when we will give our grief full sway—and even allow ourselves to anticipate the long future without our loved one. At other times, when those thoughts come knocking, we turn them away—Not now, this isn’t the time for you. Come back at five thirty—then you can have my full attention.
When five-thirty comes, we should be as good as our word: if those sad thoughts come rolling in, let them. When the half hour is up, inwardly change the subject and busy yourself with something else.
I am not trying to overlook these feelings of long-term grief—just to keep my life from being inundated by them.
"Something within me is waking from long sleep, and I want to live and move again. Some zest is returning to me, some immense gratefulness for those who love me, some strong wish to love them also. I am full of thanks for life. I have not told myself to be thankful. I just am so."
"There is a gravitational pull, an endless current which we do not recognize which draws us beyond all things and people, but at the same time more deeply and freely into them."
"In search of my mother's garden, I found my own."