HUG Corner: Thought for the Week - 9/25
Healing After Loss (Martha Whitmore Hickman)
"When my father was an old man, he surprised me by remarking that he understood what my mother’s death meant to me but had no idea what to do about it. I think it would have been something if he had just said this."
- William Maxwell
"One of the delicate issues within a family that has lost a loved one is how much and what to say to one another.
Perhaps it will help if we can talk about the process – 'Do you feel like talking now, or would you rather be left alone?' 'I’d like to talk about ______, but if you’d rather not now – or ever – that’s okay.' We need to be as sure as we can that we are not misinterpreting one another’s signals, and often there’s no way to find that out without asking.
Particularly with children, we may refrain from acknowledging their grief and ours in some effort to protect them. They need our sharing, not our silence. What is unspoken is often more fearful than shared pain. Children are no strangers to tears and puzzlement. They need us, as we need them.
It is probably better to risk saying too much than to hold back out of fear."
"Should his heart break and the grief pour out, it would flow over the whole earth, it seems, and yet, no one sees it."
"When we need these healing times, there is nothing better than a good long walk."
"That day is lost on which one has not laughed."