HUG Corner: Thought for the Week - August 7, 2017
From "Healing After Loss" Martha Whitmore Hickman
"Those who grieve find comfort in weeping and in arousing their sorrow until the body is too tired to bear the inner emotions."
Perhaps the value of very overt expressions of grief – wailing, lamenting, screaming – is that one gets quite worn out and a kind of temporary anesthesia sets in.
There is much to be said for this over the “stiff upper lip” practice of some settings, where so much demonstrativeness may be considered bizarre and self-indulgent.
Strange as it may seem at first if we are not used to it (we will be startled at the sound of our own voice), it can be very helpful to raise our voice against the faceless enemy, even though we know no one is going to answer and give us back our loved one.
So maybe it’s worth trying. If you’d rather wail in private, fine. Just find a space isolated enough that you can’t be heard, and “let fly” all that pent-up grief and anger.
Feel guilty about ranting against God? Not to worry – God can take it.
"...and it was gray, and grayer the the deeper he went. What if it was deeper than he had figured? But soon the light changed, the muck brightened, and he was headed out, towards clear sky and sun again. He said that was the best sight in the world."
"Our closeness is enhanced by sharing our grief, much more so than by the misguided attempt to keep it all under control..."
"Something within me is waking from long sleep, and I want to live and move again. Some zest is returning to me, some immense gratefulness for those who love me, some strong wish to love them also. I am full of thanks for life. I have not told myself to be thankful. I just am so."