Receiving a dementia diagnosis for a parent is a moment filled with emotion—grief, uncertainty, fear, and often, a deep sense of responsibility. One of the hardest parts for adult children is figuring out how to talk to their parent about what the diagnosis means, how it might affect their life, and what steps may come next.
At Silverado, we’ve had countless conversations with families facing this very situation. While every family is different, there are shared emotions, challenges, and questions. This article is intended to be a supportive, nonjudgmental resource as you prepare for one of the most delicate and meaningful conversations you may ever have.
Why the Conversation Matters
Talking about a dementia diagnosis can be uncomfortable, especially if your parent is in denial or fearful of what it means. But avoiding the topic doesn’t make the condition go away—and can leave your parent feeling confused, isolated, or unsupported.
Having an open, honest, and compassionate conversation can:
- Help your parent feel less alone
- Offer them a sense of control and dignity
- Clarify next steps in care and planning
- Strengthen your relationship as you move forward together
This isn’t about delivering bad news. It’s about providing reassurance, understanding, and a safe place to begin processing this new chapter.
Preparing for the Conversation
1. Get Informed First
Before you sit down with your parent, take some time to learn about their specific diagnosis—whether it’s Alzheimer’s disease, Lewy body dementia, or another type. Understand the common symptoms, progression, and treatment options.
This will help you explain things in a clear, grounded way and answer any questions they may have with sensitivity and confidence.
2. Choose the Right Time and Setting
Timing and environment matter. Choose a moment when your parent is most alert and calm—typically in the morning or after a meal. Avoid busy or overstimulating settings.
Sit together in a quiet, familiar place, ideally somewhere that feels safe and private. If appropriate, consider involving another trusted family member or care professional for added support.
What to Say and How to Say It
There’s no perfect script, but how you approach this conversation can make a difference. Lead with empathy, listen actively, and avoid overwhelming your parent with too much information at once.
Start Gently
You might begin with something like:
- “I’ve noticed you’ve been having a bit more trouble with memory lately. I thought we could talk about it together.”
- “We visited the doctor recently and they shared some information about your health. I want to talk through it with you so we’re on the same page.”
Use Simple, Clear Language
Avoid medical jargon or emotionally loaded terms. Say:
- “The doctor says you have a condition that makes it harder for your brain to remember things and do certain tasks. It’s called dementia.”
- “There are ways we can make life easier, and I’ll be here to help you.”
Reassure Them
Let them know they’re not alone. Try:
- “I’m with you in this, and we’ll figure it out together.”
- “You’re still you. This doesn’t change how much I love or respect you.”
Common Reactions and How to Handle Them
It’s possible your parent may:
- Deny the diagnosis or say, “I’m fine.”
- Respond with fear, sadness, or anger
- Ask if they’re going to “lose their mind”
These reactions are valid and expected. Here’s how you can respond:
Denial:
“I understand this is hard to accept. I’ve had a hard time with it too. Let’s just take one step at a time.”
Fear or Sadness:
“I know this is scary. But I’m here, and there are people and resources that can help.”
Anger:
“I can see this is upsetting. I’m not trying to upset you—I just want us to be able to talk about it and support each other.”
Sometimes, it’s okay to pause and return to the conversation later. You don’t have to solve everything in one sitting.
Staying Connected After the Diagnosis
A dementia diagnosis doesn’t erase your relationship with your parent. In fact, it can open a door to deeper connection, empathy, and care.
Here are ways to stay emotionally close, even as cognitive changes progress:
- Engage in shared activities they still enjoy
- Revisit old photos, music, or stories
- Create new rituals of comfort—like afternoon tea, walks, or reading together
- Be patient with moments of confusion or forgetfulness
Your presence and consistency may mean more than any words ever could.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Having this conversation with your parent is only the beginning. As a caregiver or family member, you’re likely carrying a heavy emotional load. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to not have all the answers.
There are resources—like caregiver support groups, therapists, and educational materials—that can help you navigate the emotional, practical, and medical sides of dementia.
Silverado exists to be one of those resources. Whether you’re looking for information, a listening ear, or guidance on what to do next, our goal is to be here when you need us. No pressure. Just support.
If you’re seeking clarity, encouragement, or a place to start, reach out to us for resources and support designed specifically for families like yours.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What if my parent refuses to talk about their diagnosis?
That’s common. Try to reintroduce the topic gently at a later time, or focus on addressing their needs without using the diagnosis as the focal point.
2. Should I tell them everything at once?
No. Start with the basics and let them guide how much information they’re ready to process. Keep conversations short, supportive, and open-ended.
3. Is it okay if I get emotional during the conversation?
Absolutely. Honestly, including your emotions, can strengthen your bond. Just be mindful of how your reactions affect your parent’s comfort level.
4. What if my parent forgets the diagnosis altogether?
As dementia progresses, that may happen. Focus more on meeting their needs in the present tha
