When someone you love is living with dementia, conversation can start to feel complicated. Words may not come easily. Questions may go unanswered. Moments that once felt simple — like sharing a story or asking what they’d like for lunch — can now feel frustrating or even heartbreaking.
But connection is still possible — and deeply meaningful. The key is learning to speak their language, not just with words, but with patience, empathy, and love.
Here are some ways to make communication more positive and successful for both you and your loved one.
1. Slow Down and Simplify
People living with dementia often need more time to process what they hear. Speak slowly, clearly, and calmly. Use short, simple sentences — one idea at a time.
Instead of:
“Mom, after we eat, we’ll go to the store, then the pharmacy, and then stop by Sarah’s to pick up the sweater you left.”
Try:
“Mom, first we’ll eat lunch. Then we’ll go to the store.”
Short, step-by-step communication helps reduce confusion and makes the conversation feel manageable.
2. Use Eye Contact and Body Language
Your tone and expression often say more than your words. Gently touch their hand, smile, and make eye contact when speaking. These gestures create reassurance and help your loved one feel safe and seen.
Even if they can’t follow every word, they’ll understand your warmth and kindness.
3. Avoid Quizzing or Correcting
It can be tempting to remind them of facts — “No, that was last week!” or “You already told me that story!” — but correcting can lead to frustration or embarrassment.
Instead, focus on joining their reality. If your dad insists it’s Sunday when it’s really Tuesday, you might respond:
“It does feel like a quiet Sunday, doesn’t it?”
The goal isn’t accuracy — it’s comfort and connection.
4. Find Connection Beyond Words
As dementia progresses, communication becomes less about talking and more about feeling. Music, touch, and shared activities can often say what words can’t.
- Sing or hum a familiar song together.
- Look through old photos and reminisce.
- Sit quietly and hold hands.
Even silence can be powerful. Your presence communicates love.
5. Use Names, Not Pronouns
People with dementia may lose track of who’s who. Instead of saying “it’s me,” say,
“Hi Mom, it’s your daughter, Sarah.”
Hearing their name — and yours — helps anchor them in the moment and sparks recognition.
6. Redirect, Don’t Argue
If your loved one becomes upset or confused, arguing rarely helps. Instead, gently redirect their attention.
For example, if they insist they need to “go to work,” you might say:
“That’s wonderful dedication! Let’s have some breakfast first, and then we can talk about your schedule.”
This acknowledges their feelings without confrontation and smoothly shifts the focus.
7. Focus on Feelings, Not Facts
With dementia, emotions often outlast memory. Your loved one may forget what was said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel.
If they’re scared, reassure them. If they’re sad, sit with them. If they’re joyful, join in. Meeting them emotionally where they are helps maintain trust and connection.
8. Be Patient With Yourself, Too
Communication challenges can be exhausting. Some days, nothing seems to work — and that’s okay. What matters most is that your loved one feels loved, respected, and safe.
Take breaks when you need to. Talk with support groups, professionals, or other caregivers who understand. You’re doing one of the hardest — and most meaningful — jobs there is.
The Heart Still Understands
Even as dementia changes words and memories, the heart still knows love. Every gentle word, every shared smile, and every kind touch helps your loved one feel valued and connected.
You don’t have to be perfect — just present. Communication is less about the conversation itself and more about the connection you’re creating.
At Silverado, we believe communication is care.
Our team is specially trained in connecting with residents through empathy, patience, and respect — ensuring that every moment is filled with dignity, understanding, and joy.
